The tape
by Prodigial-Knight
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha had managed through sheer stubbornness to remain single despite a large number of fangirls, Hinata Hyuuga likewise had been so dedicated to Naruto that any potential suitor had long ago given up. Despite this and the fact that they can never remember spending any time together they find a a sex tape of them together and they must track it to it's source.
1. Chapter 1

Sasuke Uchiha has found a tape,a complete mystery in origin and pure insanity in it's content, after failing to track down it's makers on his own he now has to team up with Hyuuga Hinata the other person on the tape. Neither has worked together before which makes it all the most puzzling as they now try to find out why a sex tape of themselves exists at all.

Hyuuga Hinata was busy shopping, it was important she weigh all her options throughly even tough she was searching for a set of bra and panties.

Which barring huge immediate shake ups in her personal life or better said lack of, only she and the servants who do the laundry at the Hyuuga compound would ever see.

This thought saddened her a little as well as the realization that she would probably wind up just buying a new pair of her usual purple practical set and she began eyeing a racy red lacy set which was just in front of her.

"Oh I think your boyfriend isn't going to mind all the waiting, if that's what you pick out miss." the sales lady said with a small wink when she saw Hinata taking the red bra and panties to the changing room to try out.

"Excuse me?" Hinata replied.

"The young man, handsome about your age, he's outside and seems to be waiting for you. " the sales lady clarified.

"No, he's not with me." Hinata offered although she could see why the sales woman made the connection she was the only customer inside, so if the man outside was waiting for someone it was her.

"Tsk tsk another pervert, we'll make short work of him miss all our security are ex-ninja we even have a former chunnin." she said proudly.

"Thank you I feel much safer already." Hinata said coyly not revealing that she herself was a active chunnin and had fought such ninja as Pain.

As she was entering the room of the store which held the changing cabins she spared the possible stalker a thought and felt sad for him, maybe it was just her unique Hyuuga perspective , but spending hours outside of a shop it was just so pathetic.

Then again the Hyuuga perspective was formed mainly due to the byakughan which through frequent use made one aware that beautiful bodies are everywhere and while not insulating a Hyuuga from physical desire the easy view of physical beauty made other other qualities in perspective mates seem more important.

After trying out the lingerie and deciding to buy it in the vain hope of her love life spicing up or more accurately popping into existence she exited the cabin and was ready to make her way to the cashier only to find herself face to face with Sasuke Uchiha.

"Tsk tsk, I tried waiting outside for you, but my patience finally ran out." he said by way of greeting.

"Uhm Sasuke-kun, you do know men are not permitted in this area?" she replied not sure as how to address him but since she used '-kun' with the other boys her age she went with it.

"Like I said my patience ran out, plus I only sneaked in here it's not like my doujutsu can see you through the changing cabin." he said with emphasis on the word "my".

"Uhm I'm afraid that's still no reason ... "

"Enough of the games Hyuuga " he cut her off his voice dangerously lower "I saw the tape! Why did you pick me out of all the men in Konoha ?" he inquired as he activated his doujutsu.

"What do you mean, what tape ?" Hinata asked in turn, awareness just sleeping into her mind of just how powerful and inherently dangerous Sasuke was, the fact that he was seemingly accusing her of something was far from ideal.

Sasuke seemed taken aback by her reply and he seemed to just look at her for a few seconds as if analysing her, finally he seemed to relax well as much as he could get but he was now looking at Hinata with a hint of pity.

"Ahh, I'm sorry ... " Hinata's eyes went wide hearing Sasuke say that phrase " I really didn't think it was you, it made no sense whit all your previous behaviour, yet this was my last avenue of search."

"Sasuke-kun is this something I should know, because you're not making any sense to me."

"Hn right, well this will be a shock, you're the victim too in this you deserve to know" he said while producing a video tape, it seemed to be of the rental movie type but the outer wrapping was packaged over white simple white paper, as if Sasuke wanted to hide it's title and any images it had.

He slowly gave it to Hinata while explaining:

"The inner cover of the tape should be enough to understand, you can watch it but I'd rather spare you the ... experience I saw 5 minutes to check and it's exactly what the cover implies."

The heiress took it from his hand and opened it, to see a video tape like the type her father often rented to watch at home at the compound but when she moved her eyes to the inner cover she almost started fainting.

The main eye catcher of the inner cover was a huge picture, really a screen capture of some dubious quality film, it seemed to have been shot with some amateur camera, the scene depicted being Sasuke penetrating her as she lay on some bed her own face looking directly in the camera and making some kind of O face.

Besides this central picture there were smaller ones scattered on the cover depicting other scenes, in one she was giving some guy (Sasuke she hoped) a blowjob, in another she was giving a ecstatic Sasuke what was known as titjob.

Besides the pictures, there was blue text on the rest of the inner cover, the background was purple, the text implied things she never imagined possible:

"A avenger and a princess, light and dark joining together to experience the ultimate pleasure!"

"Two clans separated by rivalry, but united by a forbidden attraction!"

"Freaky eye sex to the max!"

"Watch our heroes Sasuke and Hinata, explore their relationship in several different scenarios, totallings over 2 hours of footage and over 90 orgasms."

Sasuke was looking at her, he was trying to remain stoic but this was clearly not where he'd wanted to be:

"I ... uhm was visiting the shadier parts of town on a information gathering mission, when some baka in a bar called me a movie star, eventually to get me to stop repeatedly bashing his head into the bar he coughed up the tape."

Hinata could only listen to him, hoping he could explain the insanity which was still in her hand.

"After that I visited each and every shop which sells this kind of movies in Konoha, they all squealed the same thing there's this company which sells amateur porn and it was the source of the tape."

"The guy who ran it was some real scumbag, a lot of people rented cameras from him to shoot home movies and frivolities, but he modified the cameras so that a double of the tape would remain hidden and he would collect it."

"Apparently enough people also used them to make such ugh sex tapes, that he made a nice profit from the hidden copies splicing them into movies he would then sell without their consent. As he told me he usually only took one scene from one couple and it would need quite a lot of people to make a movie, and even if one of the unwilling actors saw their exact scene they wouldn't seek retribution due to shame."

"He thought he'd found a treasure trove with our doppelgänger tape apparently they came up with those scenario's themselves and he could make a whole movie, well he finally met someone who wanted real retribution, I didn't get the police involved because well ..."

Hinata let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Yeah you can thank your lucky stars Hyuuga I seemed to have caught this in this beginning, I burned every tape I found in the shops so it won't spread, and those who've seen it probably won't come forward. Like I said I didn't get the police involved even if I ... we are innocent because it would be a stain on our name."

"B-but who made this ?"

"Ah yes, well I took my own style of retribution on the scum, let's say I would be surprised if he can sleep for a few months, and in the process he offered the description of the couple who initially rented the camera (sic) 'a big titted blonde and a huge old guy with spiky white hair' ..."

"Tsunade-sama and Jiraya-sama ... two well known ninja easy targets for a transformation jutsu."

"Which obviously explains how they took my image ... and yours I'm sorry for accusing you but I'm really desperate for leads any genin and up can do the transformation jutsu."

"Most drop outs from the academy can do it, we're talking huge numbers of people we can't track them down one by one and interrogate them."

"What's this 'we' ? Do you really think I want your father's lackeys or even worse your team mates involved in this, not one more person should be brought in to this!"

"I meant myself, or did you forget I'm on this ... this ... thing as well, I'd die of embarrassment if this got out too."

"Hn, yeah but what resources do you bring to the hunt."

"My team are the tracking specialists, and not to brag but Kiba and Shino's methods would be useless here as there's no scent and the target can't be tagged, plus don't think I didn't notice how you were studying me with your sharinghan ..."

"The sharinghan might be great for battle but my byakughan offers more insight, plus you never did train to read a person's gestures and non verbal language I could tell you're mostly guessing I studied with Neji such things, in short you won't find a better tracker."

"Tsk fine you track but my training has been all about avenging " he said charging a chidori to make his point " just don't get cold feet when I find those responsible."

Hinata let her silence assure Sasuke of her willingness to get payback, and in a much less dramatic fashion she thought so.

"So any ideas, oh lady of the hunt?" the avenger said whit a slight smirk.

"The only clue we have is this tape, fortunately like I said my byakughgan will be able to take in all of the visual information, so if there's anything in the background a window showing a skyline, a distinctive pet, distinctive architecture I'll find it."

"Uh I have to admit, I didn't watch more than 5 minutes and wasn't paying attention to that stuff, it's not like it was a battle and I needed to get inside the enemy's head it's just uhmm us two fucking." Sasuke tried to excuse himself for not having thought of any of the possible leads Hinata mentioned.

"So we need to comb this thoroughly" Hinata tried to say in a profesional manner "you said you can watch it, I don't really have a player ..."

"Yeah I have one at my apartment, I guess if you're serious about this search" she nodded at this " you can come tomorrow, between your byakughan and my sharinghan we will find the culprits."

They then went their separate ways, every other waking moment of their days being plagued by parallel thoughts of what they agreed to "I've never even kissed ... a girl and now I'm going to watch a porn with her at my house.","Should I trust Sasuke, this could be some sick joke, but he could have simply released the tape, this just so insane." .


	2. Chapter 2

Hinata was walking the corridor to the apartment Sasuke had told her he lived, even now a few steps from his door still questioning whether this was the correct way of going about it

when it came down to it she had always been a Sasuke-excentric in her way when he was the #1 rookie she was the only girl not to fawn over him not even one bit, when he was a missing nin she was the only one apart from his team mates not to see him as a target for assassination.

She sometimes looked back at the big "Sasuke talks" and felt miffed no one asked for her opinion but it seemed those discussion were always dominated by either Shikamaru's cold analytical thinking and anti-Sasuke attitude or Naruto's burning passion and pro-Sasuke defence.

Well she didn't have any options in this case, she sure as all hell wouldn't ask either Shikamaru or Naruto in this matter, hers was the only opinion that mattered now whether she'd partner with the obviously powerful and inherently dangerous Sasuke and hunt down the ones behind the tape or would she try and let it die and leave Sasuke to chase his own tail as he seemed to ran out of leads.

Hinata stopped one more step and there was no going back, she would be in this as if hoping from some last minute sign from Sasuke she used her byakughan to spy into his apartment, he seemed unaware as he was busy tinkering with his television set and VCR to get them to work and if she read his lips correctly he was alternating between uttering the most foul of curses and whining like a small child about how the VCR didn't work.

Finally she decided to ring his doorbell and he immediately responded letting her in, there wasn't probably social norms for when you invite someone over to watch your sex tape together, yet if there had been Sasuke would have totally disregarded as he had simply shown her the couch in front of the TV and had gone back to fiddling with the VCR.

10 minutes later

"Can I help with something ? Do you need me to read you something from the VCR's manual?" Hinata said her patience having ran out.

A hand shot straight up from behind the TV where Sasuke was working, the hand was quickly then bathed in electricity coming, in a manner not unlike a chidori.

"Hyuuga, this is my chakra ... this is the essence of my body combined with the essence of my spirit to form a whole with which I can perform superhuman feats ... and this chakra has chosen to naturally take the shape of electricity ... I think this answers the question about me needing help doesn't it?"

Hinata just rolled her eyes confrotable that he couldn't see her and let him go back to work.

A little later

"See ... only ahem a hour and the VCR is ready and primed to show us that monstrosity of a tape." he said while taking in the sight of a Hinata forced to read the VCR manual just to fend of boredom.

"Huh ? Oh ok I'm ready ... Hey Sasuke-kun is your lightning type chakra AC or DC ?"

"Well it's ... I don ... doesn't matter we have more pressing issues." he replied as he hit the play button.

A small title card appeared for 30 seconds on the screen the same blue and purple as the cover, the words filling up the screen

"The Arranged Marriage!" Hinata read a loud as if in a trance.

"Yeah, like I said this is the one I watched and if the cover is a indication there's several of these shorts, the tape is a anthology not one continuous story." Sasuke explained.

"So much effort and creativity yet they felt the need to steal our appearances ?" Hinata replied.

"The scenario's seem to be themed around us specifically so this is probably someone's idea of getting at us personally."

"Even tough we were arranged to be married from the age of 5, you must know oh cruel lord of vengeance that I do not love you!" said the Hinata on the screen.

"Baah I hate all women, and all men too, not even your beauty oh forbidden princess of the Hyuuga can warm by frozen heart!" replied Sasuke from the tv.

"Hnn, they got our voices down perfectly, but since we're such infamous shinobi that doesn't narrow it on who the actors may be ... " the real Sasuke began.

"Ok you're infamous Sasuke-kun but me ? "

"You apparently forced a break in the battle against Pain as to confess to Naruto, and forced a break in the Shinobi War then to slap Naruto you are kind of well known Hyuuga."

"They also got your charming personality perfectly ... " Hinata said in a lower tone

They were interrupted by the animalistic sound of their counterparts humping.

"Aaaannd they're fucking." Sasuke dead panned

"Didn't they hate each other like 5 seconds ago?" Hinara replied.

"Apparently a loveless arranged marriage can get pretty hot pretty rapidly."

"Yes and arranged, this isn't the dark ages of the clan wars area. who arranges marriages anymore?"

"I'm pretty sure they stopped it even before Madara's time. The ones who wrote this probably just thought that since we're both clan ninja we're about 500 years behind on the times." Sasuke said clearly annoyed at the implication.

"I guess this could be a sign that the ninja's who did this are either clanless or haven't opened a history book in their lives" Hinata agreed.

As they appeared to agree on these points the only thing left for them was turning their attention back tot the movie, where the faux Hinata was just mounting the faux Sasuke.

"Mine is bigger ... " whispered Sasuke almost as if unable to contain himself.

"Sorry Sasuke-kun did you say something ?"

"..."

"..."

"I was saying we might have a clue, the fake me didn't use the transformation jutsu fully his uhhm lower parts are un-changed."

"That would be a interesting hint, but how are you sure he didn't transform the ... th ... those parts." inquired Hinata.

"Listen Hinata it's uh a guy thing, to transform it would imply he is ashamed of it and clearly this man has no shame whatsoever!"

"Still it doesn't help us, he's average ok on the very low ... low ... end of average but still that's a lot of guys in Konoha, a kind of scar or unique tatoo would be more helpful." Hinata said in a neutral tone bracing for the inevitable questions.

And she didn't need to brace long.

"How do you know average vs ... ?"

"Look it's not like I want to look but when using the byakughan, for years I might add, you just pick up stuff about the general population, even if you don't want to the white eyes just gives us the info all the info. I guess the downside to having eyes that can burn anything is that you don't really have access to such details." Hinata said in a slightly defensive tone.

"It's not a weakness of the sharinghan ... it's just that I'm not a pervert I use my eyes like the Kami intended ... to kill my enemies." Sasuke huffed.

Maybe it was the fact that they were screwing on the screen before them but Hinata suddenly felt the need to ruffle a bit of Sasuke's feathers and reached up to pat his on the hair

"There, there I heard you the first time, I know that the real you is in fact uhm bigger . still within the average range but in the upper part ... of average." she said in a mock confroting tone.

"Maybe a arranged marriage is not so bad." said the Sasuke on screen

"Only if we do that 3 times a day Sasuke ... chan" the faux Hinata emphasized the last word.

As the real Sasuke and Hinata shifted their attention back to the screen a new title card appeared.


	3. Chapter 3

As with the previous segment, a simple yet garish title card appeared and upon it written in

bold striking letters the title:

"THE NURSE"

"Pfft, the one who came up with the scenarios is certainly a man ... wait are we writing down our observations or else all this por ... research is just a waste of time." Hinata quipped.

"It's not like we have much forget if we don't write them down, basic academy jutsu being used, they know some facts about us, zero understanding of how clans work and the piece of resistance ... which I couldn't have learned without you ... the male has a smaller (but not abnormally small) penis than average." he said shooting a small glare her way.

Well Hinata was not about to be intimidated, even by a master like the Uchiha.

"You're just miffed about your own ranking and here I thought you could handle the truth from a non-biased non-judgemental source ... ok Sasuke-koy you are the biggest in Konoha ,there I said it." she countered with sarcasm.

"Hn I didn't think you so quick to jump to conclusions, first with me and now with the 'script' " he actually did the air quotes to show his disregard "being some male fantasy."

"Well it sure isn't a female one."

"Then why does nearly every healing nin I meet is a woman?"

"I don't want to talk in their name but for me being a healer simply wasn't anywhere in the agenda ... "

"Even with the healing ointment you tried push on Naruto during the chunin exams?" Sasuke interrupted

Hinata was surprised Sasuke would remember that, in fact she couldn't remember if he had been present at that scene, a chill ran down her spine if he had heard it through rumours it meant that gossip about her attempts to woo the blonde were so omnipresent even a shut in like Sasuke listened.

"I was training to be a scouting-type uhm you have to know how to use the land and be self sufficient, but even then I'm a scout and more than that a fighter it's what I want to do and resigning myself to support would have just left me feeling completely unsatisfied."

"Uhm I didn't mean to imply healers are a when forming Hebi, I selected a ninja who isn't that much of a fighter but a great healer and sensor " Sasuke said in a serious tone but then he shifted to a more playful one "plus you would look great in the uniform."

Hinata shifted her eyes to the only possible source for the out of synch comment and indeed the her on the screen was wearing a nurse uniform but one which had been modified to show a very deep cleavage, while the short-ish skirt which it usually came with was replaced by some short clearly meant to tantalize as they barely covered the faux Hinata's ass.

"Ohh Sasuke-san " Hinata bristled a bit at this comment Sasuke was of her age group so he didn't have seniority and neither had he done something worthy of respect as to warrant the '-san' "you're so hurt from the big bad war " at this both real shinobi chuckled "let me rub my healing hand all over your chiselled body."

"I think we can rule out any real medic nin this is shall we say a serious breach of the doctor patient relationship." offered Hinata

"Hnn but the seals your counterpart did were the real ones, it's a generic jutsu type used for very mild injuries."

"You're also a medic now ?" she asked surprised.

"No, but I've had enough medics work over me that I picked up a lot of their jutsus with the sharinghan, when I was training in Sound I copied several from Kabuto, I thought it was just combining the proper seals but it's not."

"Like with elemental kekey genkai I can do the seals but it won't do anything without a special talent, in this case the special talent is the special knowledge, medics devote hours daily towards obtaining it and keeping it current."

"So we're sure the false me is a medic then!"

"Hn hard to say, because the fake me isn't injured she doesn't need the effect, she might just be doing the seals like me and letting her chakra glow, her chakra doesn't seem abnormal as well no color hinting at a special influence."

"I can't tell either all I'm seeing with he byakughan is what seems to be a normal chakra spectrum."

"Now Naruto on the other hand ... " Sasuke started to go off track " he's a special case his Rikudo chakra allows him to regenerate whole organs, but it's all instinctual he's still as thick as a bag of hammers."

"Hmm I wonder how long will it take for my on screen counterpart to fall for your oh so charming personality?" Hinata dead panned

"Oy Hinata, it's hard to think before we met in this hospital, we never shared a word despite constantly being in the same class at the academy ... how could my much touted sharinghan miss a bootylicious babe like you ? " came the eerily good approximation of Sasuke's voice from the screen.

"Hn, this is it." said the real Sasuke.

"What do you mean ?"

"Ok our look, our voices numerous people saw us in the war, they could copy those easily but to have such information like the fact that we never talked at the academy, you can't have such data without one of our ha 'friends' being involved."

"Wait why are you getting up?"

"Isn't it obvious ? To ram a lightning chakra enhanced sword through each of our academy mates stomachs until someone confesses."

"Wait it could have been the teachers !" Hinata tried to reason with the apparently blood lusted nin.

"Even better! I'll do them first."

Hinata gave him a look which implied 'oh really that choice of words, right now ?'.

"I'm ... look the porn gets on my mind even if I fight it, you know I meant killing them."

"That's still too many people to maim, there's a good chance the ANBU will try to stop you before you're done and then what you kill all the ANBU, I know you have the power but what I'm saying is if we move before we know exactly who did this " she pointed at the screen where nurse Hinata was the one getting a shot from the patient and not the other way around "the tape will get out!"

Sasuke had no recourse but to bow to her logic and sat down on the couch once again.

"Hinata-hime, you might have started repairing my broken body ... "

"More like broken shirt so she could ogle my abs." the real Sasuke cut in

"but in the end you healed something much more important my violent broken soul." the faux Sasuke finished delivering his lines to the faux Hinata who was currently still gasping for air.

"Uhm, even a broken clock is right twice a day you were right to stop me Hinata, in order for this not to get out we need one quick strike and we need it only when we have the targets confirmed."

"Thank you for seeing it my way ... " she said now beginning to form a small grin " I'm glad the real you is open to help without me needing to mount you in order to accept it."


	4. Chapter 4

The pair on the screen finally having hit the peek of their copulation the video employed a little fade out effect as to mark the end of one segment and give a small breather before the beginning of the next one.

"Ok so what have learned from our ahem studies till now ?" Sasuke said leaning forward and pinching the base of his nose

"The ones who set this have access to intel on us that isn't public, like you said as opposed to our battle history the fact we never talked while at the academy couldn't have been recorded, so they either are or have access to someone who knew us well enough then to track our social circles."

"Not that I had much of a social circle."

"At least for you it was out of choice ..." Hinata said in a lower tone she was determined to leave that part of her life behind her and that meant doing some self depreciation.

"I'm starting to regret you convincing me not to rush out and scare some answers out people." Sasuke interrupted he didn't really regret it as Hinata's actions had logic behind them but he just wanted to say something as he was afraid she was going to get depressed.

He knew her childhood hadn't been that great and if he was going to watch porn with her he might as well help her stay focused during it, he wasn't ready to let his life go completely "theatre of the absurd" aka 2 depressed people looking at porn of themselves.

"Didn't we have uhhm a few play dates ?" Hinata changed the topic taking them back even before their academy years.

"No, but admittedly my memory of those years does have some gaps " he didn't want to say it aloud but the fact that his whole clan had been forced into a gheto was a pretty big thing which for example he didn't realise or remember "I don't remember any play dates with a white eyed girl."

"Must be my imagination, I must be projecting my memories of this one kid who had a stuffed dinosaur unto you, although it's pretty strange for being the only two clans with special eyes, the Hyuuga and Uchiha weren't rivals or allies or anything."

"Aha, it's starting ..." Sasuke pointed to the screen which showed the title of the next segment

"THE MAID"

"Oh, I wonder in which sleazy costume I'll be put in this time ?" Hinata quipped

"Oy, for all we know of the minds behind this I might be the one who's wearing the obligatory mini skirt and tight bustiere."

"You sure you haven't watched these kind of films before, or how can you know what the costume looks like."

Sasuke tried not to gulp as his brain scrambled for a explanation to give her, mercifully the dialogue had began on the screen

"Ohh a Hyuga working as a maid, this is a rare occurence I'm a pretty lucky master to have found such a servant!" the Sasuke on the screen began

"Yes, I've been kicked out of my clan for not being any good at fighting now my only chanche to survive is to use my domestic skills." the faux Hinata replied

Hinata could feel her hands shifting into a gentle fist strike configuration, just acking to have chackra transfered to them as to strike, if she ever met the ones who did this she just might there was a lot of talk when she was younger of reassigning her to non-combat duties and it still stung despite her having proved herself.

The fact that it was her own voice saying these things added insult to injury.

"Not your ideal fallback career, ... don't look at me like that it's just sane for those in our line of work you never know when a enemy can get a lucky shot in and you're crippled."

"So you have one chosen out then?" Hinata turned to look at Sasuke it was weird hearing him talk about civvilian things, almost like he was a person and not a non stop engine of vengeance and destruction.

"I had an aunt and uncle who ran a shop, I respected them equally to any combat members of the clan." he said trying to not really think about what happened to the elders he was talking about.

"I uhm never really thought about it, but I think I'd like to try and be some sort of artist."

Sasuke snorted briefly

"Oh yes that would surely pay the bills."

"Well excuse me for not chasing the coin, mister shopkeeper" Hinata shot back

"I never said I'd operate a shop."

"Then what ? And don't cheat and say police or bounty hunter."

"Something with technology, an engineer or scientist." Sasuke said raising an eyebrow and concentrating on her face to read her reaction

Hinata looked slightly bemused but she said in a supportive tone:

"Why, it seems like you would need to go to another academy before starting to practice as one."

"Working with technology, just seems the best civilian parallel to developing and learning jutsus." he said giving a slight shrug

On the screen it seemed to take a long time for the two to start getting to business, mostly the video had been of the faux Hinata waving a duster at things while bending to show off her assets and faux Sauke sitting there and almost drolling while he took in the sight.

"And what is your next order my master ?"

"Polish my weapon."

"You mean, your spear master?"

"Yes my long ... thick ... spear, especially the shaft needs a good polishing."

"My pleasure, master."

"Uh I've never fought with a spear." Sasuke stated the obvious.

"And well I'm not a maid, it's clear that whoever wrote this is happy to bend every truth every situation every fact in order to get us fucking."

They ended up watching the rest of the scene in silence, as there was no dialog only copulation, Sasuke had to chide himself mentally as he had begun to succumb to the tape, he prayed to whatever gods would still listen to him that Hinata would not observe it but for him the room was getting increasingly warmer and warmer.

It was obviously not a external temperature change but his body his subconsciously reacting to all the sex he was witnessing and some damned primitive reptilian part of his brain was gearing him up to partake in it, it was at a time like this that him keeping the old Sound uniform proved usefull as it covered his whole pelvic area even if he got aroused Hinata would probably not notice and think him a pervert.

He tried to ignore his own rebellious body and double down on the task that was before them, to figure out clues about who was behind this tape and basically like his battles what was playing out before him was a sort of puzzle he was to decipher it and use the information to jam a sword into the chest of whoever was out to get him.

Yet he could not seem to get any information out of the video, their transformation techniques were good they never let slip a word which was not part of the script, the room was non-descript Hinata had chimed in that it looked like the rooms from the buildings hastily built for the people after Pain's attack, which meant it really was any one generic location.

The next segment began.

"THE ONE NIGHT STAND"

"Well at least the titles are straightforward."

"Hn this is the only one which has a minuscule 0.0001% chance of happening, ... uh not that I want to imply you are up for these random uhmm"

"I think I get what you're saying Sasuke, a on-one night stand is more like a accident, accidents can happen doesn't mean we go out to look for them."

"Ohhh Rikudo Sennin what happened to me last night? " the Sasuke on the screen began faking a yawn and trying to give a slurred pronunciation as if he was suffering from a hung over, the plot did seem to be about them getting drunk somewhere and doing it in a inebriated state.

"And now seriously who swears to Rikudo Sennin? We have a rich pantheon of kami we can swear to if only you'd crack open a mythology book." the real Sasuke asked.

"Where am I ? What did I do last night ? Who did I do last night ?"

The faux Hinata rose from the bed sheets giving a full on view of her cleavage to the camera:

"Uhm that would be me!" she said the moment only needing a force laugh track to be complete.

"What happened ?" Sasuke said as he rose from the bed giving the camera a glorious helping of his ass, altough the audience of the tape didn't seem to have a reaction having been desensitised from watching their own selves have sex.

"Remember we were at the ceremony in which Naruto Uzumaki took the office of Hokage, and you were being angsty nobody was willing to give your traitorous ass the chanche to be Hokage ..."

Sasuke hit the pause button of the remote with full force and shot up, his eyes started to scan his appartement Hinata guessed for his sword and the rest of his ninja tools.

"Calm down, this isn't proof of anything."

"Like shit it isn't who would write those lines besides Naruto himself, I'm going to shove a chidori so up his ... "

"Look Naruto is the most popular Hokage candidate, it's a bit logical he would be the hokage if this segment is set in the future and uhmm Sasuke-kun your chances for being Hokage don't look very good in anybody's eyes, so really this is all general information anyone could have written this "

Sasuke just glared at Hinata but he stood back down on the couch and allowed the tape to continue

"Please like I was the only one trying to drink myself into a coma, it wasn't only his instalment ceremony it was his also his wedding and you were crying your eyes out you weren't the bride."

Hinata didn't even process what she was doing she just wanted the shame to stop so she snatched the remote from Sasuke and paused it.

As she registered Sasuke eying her with a smirk, she could stop her face from going red.

"Maybe the one who wrote it is Naruto after all." she said lamely as to fill the silence and to get Sasuke talking as to break his smirk.

"Really ? I have to disagree here, your infatuation with the dobe like my desire to be Hokage is a matter of public knowledge, anyone could have written it in." Sasuke pointed out.

Hinata audibly gulped, she wasn't stupid she knew people would have noticed she liked Naruto, like her team mates and Neji, and she even told some people herself like Kurenai when asking for advice but the private stuff happened in private circumstances for example she only admitted to liking him when they were facing down Nagato by themselves.

"I.. is it?" she said trying to be brave about the whole thing

"Oh yeah, everybody knows, why when I was training with Orochimaru in the Sound there was a betting pool about wether Naruto would end up with your or Sakura actually that was how Hebi started out ..." Hinata was watching him with byakughan activated but Sasuke didn't take the hint " flash forward to my temporary alliance with Akatusky every member knew of it Pain and Konan especially liked to gossip about it, even further on when we discovered Madara was Obito now his comments about sympathising with you made more sense ..."

Hinata decided not go down to Sasuke's base level of insinuations she just restarted the video

"Ohhh " the Hinata on screen said in a sassy tone " and you weren't pissed Naruto was marrying the love of your life one Haruno Sakura ?"

"Damn it you got me on that." the faux Sasuke said while scratching the back of his head.

"Admit it Uchiha son we are both lonely love-less people " the two ninjas watching the rooms suddenly felt a hint of fear at hearing themselves described thus "we both needed to fill the gap in our lives with the sex we had last night."

"Just ... last night Hyuuga ?" the faux Sasuke said while looking at her suggestively and crawling towards the faux Hinata.

"Ok that is bloody enough! " Sasuke yelled as he slammed down on the stop button "this is clearly the work of Sakura and Naruto!"

"Uhm Sakura and Naruto being a couple is again pretty well known whoever knows the other details about us surely knows about them." Hinata chimed in a little tired of having to stop Sasuke from jumping to conclusions again.

"Not that part, the part where they had that third rate look alike go along with Sakura being the love of my life if that wasn't written by Sakura I don't ... "

"Honestly a lot of us were thinking you and Sakura-chan would end up together well before you left ... some started believing it again when you returned."

"Why Sakura ? Why her out of all the crazy women who chased me?" Sasuke said trying to argue for his position

"Well she was in a team with you."

"And ... does that make her the definite choice for my love life, what should have I done ? Failed the test with Kakashi so I get put on a team with a different girl? It really annoys me that other people map out my future ... based on a choice Iruka or the Third or some computer made to put me on a team with her which was ultimately based on there being some average person to even out my and Naruto's scores." Sasuke ranted on.

"Wow I thought you were friends with her again." Hinata inquired

"It's not about friends it's about nobody taking the fact I have a fucking choice about this into account."

A minute of tense silence followed, Sasuke brooding about the fact that apparently all of Konoha had already decided he and Sakura were destined and this was despite Naruto and her were dating for a couple of years by now and Hinata pondering on wether everyone in Konoha saw her as only the girl who tried to be Naruto's girlfriend but failed.

The silence was being broken only by the very loud grunts and of their onscreen counterparts who had apparently decided to extend the last night stand into more of a morning and afternoon thing.

Sasuke eyed the screen.

"For how long have been at it? Was this filmed over several days or are they popping soldier pills to keep up ? "

"Well we started watching at ... " Hinata said as she took a look at her watch "oh no no no."

"What ..."

"It's Thursday I have to go with my father and sister we have to sign some papers at a notary, father was adamant I be there but with this damn tape I've completely forgot it was today."

"I take it you're completely late and utterly late ?"

"Well yes, the notary is in the Hokage tower and you live so far from the center of town even using my chakra to enhance my speed I won't make it."

"Hokage tower eh ? I've got a clean line of sight to there from the roof."

"So ? You know a teleport jutsu you can use by any chanche ?"

"Yeah something like that, it's the least I could do."

Hinata eyed Sasuke with apprehension he wasn't the first guy she'd thought would offer a ride, but then again he was a lot of things she didn't expect.

They hurriedly left his appartement and made their way to the roof where indeed the Hokage tower was clearly visible in the distance.

"Now you can trust this jutsu it's not from Orochimaru or something it's actually from the Rikudou Sennin, instantaneous transportation to wherever I look, we'll actually trade places with some air on Hokage tower ..."

He held out his hand.

" but you need to be in contact with my chakra as I'm technicaly the one who's going to travel you're just piggy backing."

Hinata never really got "normal" mores about romance was holding hands something romantic if a guy and girl of the same age did it, she thought so but she wasn't sure what the official verdict was.

Although it was pretty safe to say Sasuke didn't know as well or more accurately he never cared to find out, it must be good to be so removed from the pressures of trying to fit in.

She took his hand, and felt his chakra slowly enter her as he the chakra pressure in his eye increased, Hinata couldn't help but think that would have been so much easier if she had not just watched a image of Sasuke being intimate with a image of herself.

Try as she had her impression about the fake Sasuke's prowess and body invariably drifted to the real one who was standing besides her the whole time, maybe even guessing what lewd thoughts she was having.

The transportation was instantaneous as promised and they both arrived safe and in one piece, Sasuke's chakra had a very interesting nature it was cold, but somehow like a light winter wind making her sharper in senses and wit and now that it was retreating it seemed everything around was pleasantly warm.

In a way it was the inverse of Naruto's chakra who had kept her so very warm but once it disappeared she felt cold and thus slightly morose for days on afterwards.

"Another reason I chose the roof was that it's not crowded so we could land anywhere." Sasuke began

"Yes, or else I might have to explain the ride I came in." Hinata said as she turned to him as to give her goodbyes and find the notary.

"Indeed, the only ones who use the roof,when there are perfectly good ground level doors available would be the ninjas." said Hiashi who had apparently been there since the moment they arrived.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hinata ... you're late." Hiashi said simply

"Sorry father, I lost track of time and I would have completely missed the appointment if not for ... meeting Sasuke-kun who was so gracious to use his jutsu and get me here."

"Me and your sister have already read it, I don't think Hanabi is finished if you're fast enough you can sign as well and we won't need to come back another day. "

"Yes!" Hinata said starting a small bow but realising it would be more efficient to take of right then, which she did leaving Sasuke alone with her father.

"Sasuke-kun, we finally meet." Hiashi said straightening himself even as his former position could hardly be stated as squatting merely a tiny bit more relaxed.

Sasuke could see through all of it, the Hyuuga clan head ... no Hinata's father he was caught up in way too much with her as to see Hiashi as just a clan head ... he was a powerful man a jounin as far as he heard, a veteran and a master of all the Hyuuga traditional arts of war yet despite all of that Sasuke was simply out of his league in destructive power and notorious kills so Hiashi was trying to maintain control by emphasising the age difference between them with that "-kun".

Well his chosen tactic really was a mistake when dealing with the avenger who had never bought into that great age demands respect philosophy.

"It was inevitable, we're both in Konoha we would have bumped into one another on some roof some time." Sasuke replied even tough he was kicking himself for choosing the roof as the target of the teleport as Hiashi was right for a ninja a roof was as good as a door.

"Hmm, I was actually outside to profit from the sun and check out this surprise addition to my collection " he said as he produced a katana from it's sheet " I'm told you're sword user yourself ?"

Sasuke had in fact left his sword back at the appartement as this was supposed to be a quick transport, but still his preference for swords and especially sword augmenting jutsus seemed to have gotten around.

"Can I ?" he said extending his hand

"Of course ... "

Sasuke began studying it, it seemed old, from the end of the clan wars or the start of the villages period,yet in very good shape he would have bet it rarely saw it's intended use, he very carefully gave it a swing and chanelled some of his chakra into it.

The sword reacted well to his chakra even when he molded it to it's lightning form, Sasuke still prefered his own Grass Cutter sword but he could see why Hiashi had raced out to have a open space to give it a spin as well as admire it in the sunlight

"Were you per chanche taught some of the traditional Konoha sword styles ?" Hiashi said obviously trying to start a conversation

"No but in the Sound we had a ... " Sasuke said before stopping himself Hiashi surely knew of his history but reminding Hinata's father of the nuke-nin background of the man he saw his daughter arriving with would only complicate things for Hinata " this is very well made sword congratulations on acquiring it." he said intending to teleport away.

"Yes it's a bit of a sad story how it came into my possession though ... has Hinata mentioned it to you ?"

"Why would she ? I'm only giving her a lift." Sasuke hoped the lie would stand firm.

"One of the oldest members of our clan passed on a little while ago, she was a valued ninja but had outlived all her relatives and never had offspring of her own so she indicated in the will that her belongings simply go to the clan, as the Main House myself and my daughters need to sign some papers here at the notary to make it all legal."

"Aha"

"Still even while doing such a gracious service as transporting my daughter here, you must have been curious ... say where did you and Hinata encounter one another ?" Hiashi inquired.

So the dreaded question had been popped , Sasuke chose to go with a lie reinforced by truth yet still keeping it vague so Hinata could work with it when she would

"We met shopping ... "

"I didn't know you two shared common interests as to bump into one another at the same store ? "

Hiashi's nosey-ness was really starting to get on Sasuke's nerves it's not he had been on a date with Hinata for all Hiashy knew he'd just given her a lift, but unknowingly he was playing into Sasuke's hands a few more questions and Sasuke storming off would seem normal, as opposed to something which would require further scrutiny

"Movies, we both like movies." Sasuke said while trying to maintain a good poker face, the Hyuuga were excellent at sniffing out lies that's why he was veringly dangerously close to the truth, something more far off would be detected.

"Ah, I believe Hinata might in fact be getting a movie for me, I'm the fan in the family and my birthday is approaching, please do not spoil the title for me. " Hiashi said with a small grin.

"Hn." if Hiashi wanted to make the story be about himself Sasuke wasn't going to be opposed, now that a good alibi had been planted in his head on which Hinata could build on if he questioned her any further Sasuke was preparing to leave just as Hinata and a girl he presumed must have been her sister came from inside the building.

"Everything done ?" the Hyuuga patriarch asked.

"Yeah" the younger sister replied "what's he doing here ?" she then continued obviously referring to the avenger.

Hinata to her credit as far as Sasuke was concerned gave her a small look which seemed to demand that he be treated with a little more respect.

"Just leaving actually." he said starting to charge the chakra in his Rinneghan.

"Nonsense, your actions spared Hinata from having to make another appointment and having to come some other day dragging out the process, we were going to get some fine sushi since we're in town and I insist you come as our guest."

"That's ... nice of you but I " Sasuke began to think of an excuse.

"You had the time to take Hinata here and chat about swords, surely you have the time or is their another reason ? "

Hiashi began to eye him in a cold analytic manner.

Sasuke for his part, just snook a glance at Hinata she had been terrified of what would happen if her father learnt of the tape and she seemed to be doing ok but it was more tactically sound if they handled as many of Hiashi's questions together as it were as opposed to Hinata questioned alone.

"Hn, lead the way then." Sasuke acquiesced

The Hyuuga sisters shared a look and a small shrug then proceeded towards the restaurant with their father the notoriously surly clan leader and the even more notoriously anti social avenger, inside Hinata was fuming at the universe for setting this up, her father catching her teleporting in with Sasuke and now them all going to dinner must be divine retribution for something she did.

Thankfully the restaurant Hiashi had chosen was very prompt in their orders as far as Hinata knew so the dinner would not bee longer than needed. After they chose a table and sat down, Sasuke and Hinata facing each other and Hiashi and Hanabi the same the conversation started

"I'm afraid Sasuke gave away your secret, Hinata." Hiashi began in a conversational tone.

"Oh did he now ?" Hinata wasn't phased Sasuke would obviously wanted to keep it to himself and her father was way too calm about the whole thing, he must be talking about something else.

"Yes about the movie ... " Hinata was pretty sure her chakra spiked so hard they were feeling it over in Suna right now but on the other hand she had never seen her father kill someone so maybe she had been wrong before and he was just the serene killer type, she wondered who he would kill first Sasuke or herself " I'm a bit disappointed in my own nosiness as you obviously wanted to keep my birthday present a secret, but such is life I'm still looking forward to it even if I now know it's going to be a movie."

"Yes, obviously the movie I picked out for you it's a secret that's why I can't talk about it in any detail." Hinata carried on relieved but also a bit miffed because her previous present plans aka a sweater was out of the question now.

"What film were you getting?" Hanabi chipped in.

"Hanabi, I specifically said I want the surprise .. "

"No dad, I meant him you say you met in a video store I'm a bit curious what film Konoha's favourite avenger likes." she said eying Sasuke.

Sasuke barely suppressed a swear right then, and after adding Hanabi to his mental "watch your back" list, which hey had been pretty empty lately tried to focus to give a believable answer.

The problem was Sasuke didn't really watch manny movies, well any that weren't instructional videos on shinobi tactics and techniques so since "Advanced Lightning Jutsu Part 6" was out of the question he tried to remember any other film but found himself hitting a mental barrier.

A mental barrier of porn, specificly porn of him and Hinata blocking his mind from accesing any previous cinematographic memories.

"Uhm, it was about two lovers born in feuding families forced into an arranged marriage ... " he said twisting the plot of the first porn sketch on the tape.

"Ohh romantic how does it end ?" Hanabi seemed to ask honestly while Hinata was just giving a look which said if "I had a proper excuse you'd be dead right now"

"They found love in the arranged marriage." oh yes they did they found love again and again from a multitude of positions

"Sound like a nice movie ... maybe I should get Udon and ..." Hanabi said the last part without seeming to have intended it

"Who is this Udon boy I keep hearing about ?" Hiashi jumped in seemingly forgetting Sasuke was there alongside his daughters "I hope he isn't a boyfriend ... which I haven't met!" he finished looking straight at Hanabi.

"Uhnn no, definitely not a boyfriend ..." there was a small pause Sasuke, who had spent some time around such honest men as Orochimaru and Obito and was a pretty "honest" individual himself, was pretty sure this Udon individual was boyfriend in all but name " it's not if he could pass the trials." ah there was the technicality which explained it.

"Hanabi, darling it's merely a ceremonial spar a Hyuuga tradition any boy who'se worthy of you is bound to be strong enough to survive." Hiashi said apparently not concerned that the sparring was ceremonial but the best result seemed to be merely survival

"Ceremonial my ... the only bachelor in the village who could handle the trials with you and the others would be Mr. Indra reincarnated right here!" Hanabi said throwing a glance towards Sasuke

Sasuke gave a small bow, but his grin plainly showed his pleasure at the annoying brat being inconvenienced in her love life.

"Hey, actually you Sasuuuke-kuun are available no?" the younger sister said battling her eyelashes in a purposedly exaggerated manner

"No!" Hinata and Hashi found themselves saying, almost yelling, at the same time.


End file.
